The future of news is trending deliciously upward with the help of Unemployed Reporter Porter, a homebrew created by former Hartford Advocate staff writer Jon Campbell.

Billed as “the first beer brewed by print journalists, for print journalists,” Campbell’s bold innovation in journalism boasts “chocolate and roasted barley malts that are as dark and bitter as the future of American journalism.”

But thirsty journos eager to beta test the product will have to wait: “Unfortunately, production has not yet expanded beyond the five-gallon plastic bucket in my closet, so it won’t be hitting the market anytime soon.”